No matter where we are on our journeys in this strange, strange world, we are all in some state/level of "recovery." Whether it's "recovery" from drugs..."recovery" from traumatic events (no matter how near or far from where we are in the present)...."recovery" from chronic mental illness...."recovery" from unhealthy/abusive relationships...."recovery" from excessive gambling/food/sex addiction or compulsive shopping/overspending...or even "recovery" from having been laid off from jobs, facing a devastating financial catastrophe or experiencing the recent death of a loved one (and often the unresolved long-term grief for a lost loved one), ALL of US are in some state of "recovery."
Far too often, whenever I hear the ripples of reaction to the tragic drug o.d.'s of people in the public eye, I've always been troubled by the way so many rush to negatively judge and stigmatize the person in crisis. Walking the roads of Recovery and Wellness aren't just a short-term, jiffy-pop destination for most of us. It's a life-long journey, and the wisest among us know that it's not a clear-cut linear sprint. No matter what anyone says, no matter how much money someone has in their pocket, no matter what color their skin and eyes are or what god(s) they pray to, we are all not that far away from each other as we try to sort through what it means to be human in this life.
How do you cope???? How do any of us get through the stress of just one 24 hour day of our lives?? Have you ever paused to think of what it takes for you to make it through?? Do you gulp that hot 20 ounce cup of java in your go-cup on the run to the subway, pop the ipod on and zone-out for the hour-long AM commute? Are you able to completely distract and shut-out the bickering and petty ramblings of co-workers and amped-up levels of drama that rise and fall throughout the day like a jagged rollercoaster? Are you constantly zoning-out on your phone/tablet and social media throughout the day, all day long??? Are you able to stand in line for 2 hours at your local food pantry in the cold and misting rain, run to a job interview on the other side of town on slow public transit and then have to go back across town and stand in another line at the social security office for 2 more hours? How do you cope with difficult issues and extreme chaos in your life?? What positive supports do you have around you?? Who do you confide in when you find yourself in crisis? Do you keep things to yourself? Do you feel weak or ashamed to let others know that you're not feeling a 100%? Do you have a plan for how you will stay safe while you're in crisis? How do you cope with the even more chaotic and painful challenges life throws at you?? Can you relate to how it feels to relapse after a very long period of sobriety after being triggered by an issue/event/anniversary or a nagging self-critical thought?
So many of us come from brutal, invalidating environments where we were consistently shamed and stigmatized for feeling certain emotions. Learning how to cope with trauma, stress and difficult feelings without self-destructing is a chronic, life-long journey into Wellness and Recovery. There is no shame. There is no stigma. There is no "quick fix" or perfect pill. We're not alone in trying to figure out who we are and how to sit with chaos that we can't change and try to embrace a life worth living. We are survivors. Every day is a chance to learn and gain self-awareness. When slips and falls happen, the key isn't to drown in shame and isolation. Even as low and as ruined as we may feel....There is hope. But we can't do it alone.
Rest well, Philip. This world is so much richer because of you sharing your incredible creative gifts. You were brilliant and unique in this world. We were blessed to have you for the time you were here.
You will be missed more than words can ever say..but your art will last forever x0x0
Far too often, whenever I hear the ripples of reaction to the tragic drug o.d.'s of people in the public eye, I've always been troubled by the way so many rush to negatively judge and stigmatize the person in crisis. Walking the roads of Recovery and Wellness aren't just a short-term, jiffy-pop destination for most of us. It's a life-long journey, and the wisest among us know that it's not a clear-cut linear sprint. No matter what anyone says, no matter how much money someone has in their pocket, no matter what color their skin and eyes are or what god(s) they pray to, we are all not that far away from each other as we try to sort through what it means to be human in this life.
How do you cope???? How do any of us get through the stress of just one 24 hour day of our lives?? Have you ever paused to think of what it takes for you to make it through?? Do you gulp that hot 20 ounce cup of java in your go-cup on the run to the subway, pop the ipod on and zone-out for the hour-long AM commute? Are you able to completely distract and shut-out the bickering and petty ramblings of co-workers and amped-up levels of drama that rise and fall throughout the day like a jagged rollercoaster? Are you constantly zoning-out on your phone/tablet and social media throughout the day, all day long??? Are you able to stand in line for 2 hours at your local food pantry in the cold and misting rain, run to a job interview on the other side of town on slow public transit and then have to go back across town and stand in another line at the social security office for 2 more hours? How do you cope with difficult issues and extreme chaos in your life?? What positive supports do you have around you?? Who do you confide in when you find yourself in crisis? Do you keep things to yourself? Do you feel weak or ashamed to let others know that you're not feeling a 100%? Do you have a plan for how you will stay safe while you're in crisis? How do you cope with the even more chaotic and painful challenges life throws at you?? Can you relate to how it feels to relapse after a very long period of sobriety after being triggered by an issue/event/anniversary or a nagging self-critical thought?
So many of us come from brutal, invalidating environments where we were consistently shamed and stigmatized for feeling certain emotions. Learning how to cope with trauma, stress and difficult feelings without self-destructing is a chronic, life-long journey into Wellness and Recovery. There is no shame. There is no stigma. There is no "quick fix" or perfect pill. We're not alone in trying to figure out who we are and how to sit with chaos that we can't change and try to embrace a life worth living. We are survivors. Every day is a chance to learn and gain self-awareness. When slips and falls happen, the key isn't to drown in shame and isolation. Even as low and as ruined as we may feel....There is hope. But we can't do it alone.
Rest well, Philip. This world is so much richer because of you sharing your incredible creative gifts. You were brilliant and unique in this world. We were blessed to have you for the time you were here.
You will be missed more than words can ever say..but your art will last forever x0x0
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