I woke up today from a lucid dream about one of my dear friends who lost his life to AIDS in the early years of the epidemic. In the years where people were still terrified of breathing the air near a victim let alone dare kiss them on the cheek or lips. In the years where many people proudly proclaimed that the AIDS plague was "God's way" of getting rid of gays. I still remember a day when I went to visit my friend Marco and one of the nurses looked at me like I was crazy when I kissed his cheeks and shared strawberry ice cream with him. She later pulled me aside and sternly said, "you shouldn't do that, y'know -- you can't be too careful". I remember looking dead into her eyes and said, "try and stop me." I had no respect for her whatsoever because of the language I overheard her use as she groused with her co-workers, saying "I'm sick of looking at these damn fags." I reported her, but nothing ever came of it. That was 1986. I'd like to think that it would be a very different story today. Some things change...and some things stay the same.
One thing that has remained a bitter constant over all of these years is the way my LGBTQIA friends' partners and spouses have been treated in many hospital settings, especially when visiting their very ill partners and spouses. So many shut out with no rights and treated horribly...by the staff AND the other family members. I still think of Marco's boyfriend and the hell he went through trying to be near him in the hospital. And the chaotic insanity that ensued after his death was beyond heartbreaking. They had been together for 15 years. Through good times and bad...health and sickness...low wages and improving incomes...stumbles and successes -- just like any married couple. I've been struck with so many emotions since watching the president's statements about supporting same sex marriage. I want to dance in the streets and scream from the rooftops about this advanced step towards true equality and civil rights for ALL...finally being said by an American president. But it makes me nauseous to even have a hint of questioning motives and timing running through my mind. And then there's his troubling distance about this being a "states rights issue" rather than an issue worthy of being boldly defined by the federal government? Please, let this not be a wedge issue being used for gleaning LGBTQIA voters in the impending campaign pandemonium with Romney. Please, let this truly be a sincere, monumental push towards absolute equality and civil rights. I want to believe that this is more than just a campaign move. I really, really do. I've been thinking of Marco so much over the past couple days. I keep hearing his voice in my head and one of his favorite, ringing phrases he probably would be tossing out if he was still alive today -- "Honey-luv...I'll believe it when I see it."
One thing that has remained a bitter constant over all of these years is the way my LGBTQIA friends' partners and spouses have been treated in many hospital settings, especially when visiting their very ill partners and spouses. So many shut out with no rights and treated horribly...by the staff AND the other family members. I still think of Marco's boyfriend and the hell he went through trying to be near him in the hospital. And the chaotic insanity that ensued after his death was beyond heartbreaking. They had been together for 15 years. Through good times and bad...health and sickness...low wages and improving incomes...stumbles and successes -- just like any married couple. I've been struck with so many emotions since watching the president's statements about supporting same sex marriage. I want to dance in the streets and scream from the rooftops about this advanced step towards true equality and civil rights for ALL...finally being said by an American president. But it makes me nauseous to even have a hint of questioning motives and timing running through my mind. And then there's his troubling distance about this being a "states rights issue" rather than an issue worthy of being boldly defined by the federal government? Please, let this not be a wedge issue being used for gleaning LGBTQIA voters in the impending campaign pandemonium with Romney. Please, let this truly be a sincere, monumental push towards absolute equality and civil rights. I want to believe that this is more than just a campaign move. I really, really do. I've been thinking of Marco so much over the past couple days. I keep hearing his voice in my head and one of his favorite, ringing phrases he probably would be tossing out if he was still alive today -- "Honey-luv...I'll believe it when I see it."
Click below for a segment on Democracy Now touching on President Obama's bold words this week:
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